I saw the film "The Kids Are All Right" based on a recommendation from my parents. The film follows a lesbian couple Nic and Jules who each gave birth to a child (Joni and Laser) using the same sperm donor. When Joni turns 18 her younger brother Laser insists that they contact their biological father. I enjoyed the films humor and portrayl of a modern gay couple. Many questions arose for me throughout the film that I will comment on here. I just can't remove myself from a critical lens!
Things I loved about the movie:
1. The non traditional family structure.
2. Watching the couples roles and the growth in their relationship.
3. The way that Nic supported Jules in her long drawn out journey into the work force.
4. The way the film normalized families with gay parents.
5. The prospect of fluid sexuality and the normalization of "non traditional" sex lives and what makes people aroused.
Things I questioned:
1. The audience discovers that Nic and Jules enjoy watching pornography between two men. I was curious why this was. I felt it may have reinforced a stereotype that all women are aroused by men.
2. Jules has an affair with her children's sperm donor, Paul. She appears to enjoy having sex with a man and it is unresolved if she enjoys sex with a woman or if that matters. It again, brings up a question for me, is this propagating a stereotype that all women enjoy male sex?
3. Nic's alcoholic tendencies are unresolved. There is obvious conflict about it but its never discussed.
4. Laser's friend Clay is a troublemaker and his presence in the film is to me, irrelevant. I don't understand what his role is trying to convey.
Overall, the gender study was fascinating. Nic plays a put-together, high-achieving, hard working role. She appears to take the role as a disciplinarian with the kids and as the breadwinner. It can be argued that her role is often the role of the father in a straight family. Jules- a free spirited, indecisive, casual individual offers her children, Nic and eventually Paul a lot of motherly and nurturing support. She can be characterized as taking the "motherly role". However- these "rules" are not hard because Jules is not very organized and it doesn't appear that she holds a housekeeping stereotype.
It is interesting that Laser's sexuality becomes of question when he becomes close with Clay and that his mother's don't see his lack of male influence to be troubling. Nic and Jules are almost offended when Laser seeks out his biological father- and Nic is very unsupportive of either child maintaining any sort of relationship with Paul. Therefore, this film shoes that families can have complete harmony with little to no male or alpha male influence in household. The family became so used to this routine that having Paul in the family, a new male figure- even for a brief time, disrupted the homeostasis. The last scene shows the family driving home from dropping Joni off at college and it appears that the family will be able to recover from the trauma of Paul entering their life. It can be suggested that this family not only functions without a man but functions much better.
Very interesting.
Though I've yet to see the film, I think it makes sense that the family would function better without Paul. From what you've described the family is accustomed to the way they are and based on that they each have their own function. To place Paul in with the rest would disrupt the balance of they are able to live. If as you say, Nic is the "fatherly figure" then to place a man in the situation could be uncomfortable for all involved, especially, for Paul and Nic, because if Paul is being pulled in, maybe he sees the situation as the kids are searching for a male father figure. The problem with this is that the role is already taken and Nic could possibly ( once again I've yet to see the film so I'm really just guessing) interpret Paul's actions as him trying to replace her in her own family.
ReplyDelete"4. Laser's friend Clay is a troublemaker and his presence in the film is to me, irrelevant. I don't understand what his role is trying to convey."
ReplyDeleteI didn't understand Laser's friend's role as well. Maybe the movie was trying to show that Laser was a normal kid just like any other kid, who has the stereotypical normal parents (mom and dad) and can make bad choices when it comes to friends too. I really have no idea, but that is my take on it.
I also find it interesting how neither of us mentioned Joni's friend who seems to be obsessed with growing up too fast and having sex.
I wondered if the Clay character was simply meant to be another expression of a male persona, like Paul, who doesn't play by the rules, etc. As if the film is offering versions of male and female models spread out amongst all these kids and parents. Paul apparently grows up and out of his youthful rebellion, and is generally appealing and compassionate; but you do suspect he may have been a bit more of an asshole when he was younger.
ReplyDeleteAs for the lesbian couple being interested in gay porn, well, it's an interesting issue, given the assumed interest of heterosexual men in lesbian sex scenes or porn, and the assumed disinterest of gay men in lesbian sex. Also I think there is at least some suggestion that this lesbian couple contains two women who are, at least part of the time, bisexual. So the apparent fluidity of their sexual orientation or desire would obviate any need to defend or explain their attraction to gay porn. On some level, watching beautiful shapely naked people have sex ought to be appealing to anyone of any orientation. But humans do seem to like to hold fast to their definitions and categories.